Sometimes surviving the holidays is all you can do. The holidays are supposed to be a happy joyful time full of celebrations but for many happiness and joy are hard to come by. Our family suffered the unimaginable loss of my dad on Christmas Eve in 2008. After a fall on the ice in his very own driveway. The driveway leads to the house that he built with his own two hands.

He slipped and fell hitting his head on the concrete. As a stubborn man, he was refusing medical treatment although we (his entire family) could tell he needed it. He did finally go to the hospital but would not stay. After several days of being miserable and making everyone around him miserable too, we thought he was on the uphill and beating the brain bleed that was caused by the fall.

However, in the early morning hours of Christmas Eve, he fell again coming out of the bathroom. That fall would cause a blood clot to break free that would ultimately take his life. So you see Christmas Eve each year is always a stark reminder of that night. It’s also a reminder that leads to Christmas another “holiday” that brings joy to all but leads to tears for us. We know we are not alone in the holiday struggles. If you are one of the families that have suffered loss over the holidays, really any holiday, please know you are not alone.

After 12 years, we have found that the following helps us survive.

• Create new traditions
• Do something in their honor or memory
• Share stories of the past holidays
• Be gracious with yourself and your grieving (even 12 years later)
• Understand family members will all grieve differently
• Know in your heart that your loved one would not want you to dwell

These helpful tips are not something I ever wanted to learn but I am sharing them in case they will help someone else during their time of need. If you have lost a loved one, what strategies have you found to be helpful at easing the feelings of grief through the holidays?

Always & Faithful,

Pam